Thank You and Happy Birthday

I have adopted every person I know as a personal secretary. Traci Monson happens to be my Executive Assistant and for the last 10 years has kept record of most of my personal engagements. She reminds me of dates, times and most importantly memorizes directions to venues and passes them on to me as I am en route.

(Pictured are myself and Traci. This is in Boston where she of course, made all travel arrangements, and paid for my ticket. What?! I didn't have a job at the time)

Since I am old-er I have trained myself to memorize information regarding soirees to a close degree of accuracy. I almost always get the date correct, arrive within plus or minus 30 minutes to start time and can recall the location within a three block radius. Therefore, I have needed Traci's help less and less as the years have passed but occasionally am saved by her incomprehensible ability to plan, organize and regurgitate data that, I swear, was stolen from my hand. I hope to one day return the gesture she has so kindly offered to me a million times.

Sometimes I am invited to a function by a social circle that has not the privilege of knowing Traci. And I, finding myself in need of logistical info, wonder if she still might know where I am supposed to be. I am in such a situation tonight. Knowing that even this Super Woman does not know the answer, I turn to other sources, like the focal point of this evening. IT happens to be her birthday, and is just as unreliable as myself.

(Pictured below is Stephanie Doyle in a fantastic attempt to snowboard)

(This is what she looks like, with a helmet on)

I have called her twice and sent a text message (5 minutes before the party is to start) and still no response. What?! Am I left to getting on-line and finding the original invitation?! Work?! THEN! The phone rings, lo and behold, the caller ID reads "Steph Doyle" and I answer with excitement,

*"Birthday Girl?! What is wrong with you? You know I need help getting to your place?"

*This is not the birthday girl, it's Aly!"

The conversation went on but I got stuck in the humorous thoughts that a) Steph is just like me and has someone else dealing with the awful boringness of flat information and b) Once again, I am saved from my annoying habit of zero preparation.

Each of you at one point has aided, or enabled, me in such a situation. I thank you.

(Among many other talents, Steph is also an artist, and felt this represented the lonliness that metals must feel)

Aaaaaahhh!!! (said with much frustration)

I'm going to DIE if I don't find something insane to do...that won't get me killed or thrown in jail.

I think it comes from repression. Everything I have an impulsive urge to do, is not accepted by society. By not acting out I have the sensation behind my eyeballs that they are going to pop out.

Here is what I would do if no consequences were involved:

I would rip up.....ooooh....lots of stuff (stimulus bill included)

I would follow Eli's lead and smack people in the face (nobody in particular)

I would quit my job. Not answer my phone. And burn Facebook.

I would be on an airplane to Phoenix

I would adopt a dog and buy half a cow

I would definitely be homeless and know which clothes I would take on my back (can anyone guess?)

I would break the news to people who think they are funny, but aren't.

Until I have the guts, I guess I will just go to the gym and to Phoenix...those are do-able.

Valentine Treat

This is my father, Gary Kurt Lassen. Today during my Zumba class (a crazy-latin-dancing-hip-shaking-body-sweating-fiesta at 24 hour fitness) This amazing fella called me and asked if he could take me to lunch for Valentine's Day. What a LOVELY surprise. A Valentine for me? Plus he said we could go to a "nice" lunch like the kind at Market Street. Anyway, Gary knocked on my door and walked in with red gorgeous roses! I haven't been given roses since I took advantage of a guy who liked me when he asked, "What do you want for your birthday?"

I forgot how happy flowers make me feel and halibut. I thought it was a perfect way to spend the lunch hour, what more could I want? And then he offered to chase those well spent calories with frozen yogurt from the Yogurt Stop. Wow. Content. Full.

I don't need alot. I rarely ask for or demand things. I get by with what I have. And I'm satisfied. But on occasion someone teaches me a lesson with their unnecessary demonstration of service and my reaction of love and gratitude surprise me as I realize those "unnecessary" gestures add an element to life that really is necessary!

Dad, you totally made me feel special today. I enjoyed every second we had and I will always remember today. I love you. Thank you! I'm a very lucky daughter.

Hawaii, the Hostess with the Mostess

$30 Wal-Mart tent purchased so that mom and baby were protected from the winter sunshine's killing rays of cancer. Probably one of the coolest purchases ever. The rest of us were jealous, especially when it rained.
Cohen (I choose to believe he was named after Seth Cohen of the hit tv series The OC), not sure what to do in this situation. I knew what to do though, document!
Huge waves at Waimea beach on the north shore. I'm not normally a big fan of getting pounded by the awesome raw power of the seas, but I sure enjoy watching other people's poundings.

James on his first Harley. Pretty astute of a 4 month old to know how to look cool.

Grandkid pictures. Gma and Gpa (Gma) bought the hawaiian outfits. Andrew (the one crying) wasnt a big fan of the sand or water.

My new facebook profile:) Courtesy of Danny. A penny for my thoughts...what the h#$ is going on in that head? I really couldn't tell you but it must have been deep.

Dede missing her job and boss at Goldman Sachs.

Dan's yellow shirt says "Man Scouts".

The Man Scout bursting through the water's surface for airj and show; A dramatical reinactment of A Normal Day for a Dolphin. (Excellent form Dan)

Claire thinks we are all idiots.

Way cuter on a kid than an adult.

Bonnie and Andrew enjoyed watching people getting pounded too.

Thanks Gary and BOnnie for the amazing trip! What a way to spend the holidays. I'm gonna be good every year from now on.

Our North 40, and Some People's South

The sun is setting pretty early these days. I had a grand scheme to get up into the mountains to capture the essence and beauty of a Utah winter sunset but my timing was WAY off. Instead of Red Pine I had to settle for Red Butt (I mean Butte)....and it wasn't too shabby.

Stupid jogger. I was just jealous. Who wouldn't want to run a bit when surrounded by this scenery?!

As crappy as winters can be.....come on....this should surely help us endure the bitterness.

Ode to Joy

Did anyone ever get into Calvin and Hobbes? A brilliant comic strip! My friend Steph Doyle reminded me of it today so I just threw up some quotes. Enjoy.

-Calvin"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."

-Calvin"Reality continues to ruin my life."

-Calvin"What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?"

-Calvin"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

-Calvin"I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point."

-Calvin"I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!"

-Calvin"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."

-Calvin"It's only work if somebody makes you do it"

-Calvin"In my opinion, television validates existence."

-Calvin"Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure."

-Calvin"What I like is when you're looking and thinking and looking and thinking... And suddenly you wake up."

-Calvin"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

-Calvin"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."-

-Calvin"I keep forgetting that rules are for little nice people." -Calvin

Technology, Helping Us Enjoy and Document Life

This is a picture I took from my phone as I stalked a theft-flee-chase-capture-and return event a couple weeks ago. I happened to be an eye witness during the flee-chase-return portions of the adventure. I witnessed it all from the comforts of my own car. Had it not been for technology I would've missed the whole event. I give credit to my phone for the slow driving (because I was talking on it) that put me right where I needed to be so that the fugitive could place his hand on my car to stop me in the middle of a busy road. My phone also gets credit for taking this crappy picture during the return portion, but still provided a medium to pass it on to you. My car of course helped me find the post-capture section after a brilliant U-turn upon realizing the green bag the kid was carrying was probably full of stolen goods. My car also helped me follow the participants [bad guy-pictured center (his hands are in handcuffs), undercover Smith's security pictured left (with green bag containing stolen goods) and other security dude's lower half of body pictured right]. And of course credit goes to the invention of blogs, helping the world to stay connected with everyday life.