My Time, Well Used

I have several things to discuss or state at you so I might have to break it up into a few different posts.

First: Serena Williams. What the crap?! I get it...you work so hard to get to the finals (this is tennis we are talking about) and then someone makes a bad call in a CRITICAL part of the match...You still don't yell the f-word at a little Asian lady making the call. You are a big, powerful, black woman and a scrawny little lady will run to the umpire judge and get you in all the trouble she can...she is afraid for her life...I was afraid for her life just watching it on the tube. However, Yippee for The Belgium who went on to win the championship...she took two years off to become a mom and in the first year of her return, unseeded, she won a grand slam event! WOW!

Next: I went to Seattle for what was supposed to be five days and it ended up being eight. I had no clue Seattle has the weather in the summer that is my personal heaven. I've never been happier, not even the day my kids were born.

Two things happened...the first...I got to spend those days with my Elaine Benice dancing niece, Olive and my amazing sis-in-law Shannon.

I was introduced to Mad Men and watched it everynight on my double decker air mattress placed perfectly in front of a huge flat screen tv (I think I slept about 10 hrs a day, 2 hr nap included...I always napped when Olive did). Olive and I would chill on the bed in the mornings eating cheerios and watching Sesame Street...which is now my favorite tv show (I also grew to hate Curious George and a book with a bunny rabbit that would hide).

Olive and I had a pizza party while Shannon was fulfilling a bride's dreams by being her wedding planner. We watched Grease, can you see it in the background? Can you also see my double chin?

We also rode the ducks all over Seattle for a tour. The transportation was WWII vehicles that could go on land and water. We did both...it freaked me out on the water.

This is Olive's happy place

Olive and I took the bus into town and ate fish n chips, fed disgusting Seagulls, and walked the streets of Seattle looking for New Born Vampires

May I also report for my second thing that happened...since I was in Seattle...I naturally thought of Vampires, New Borns. WHich led me to thoughts of Port Angeles and Forks...which happened to be a couple hrs away. We never quite made it to Port Angeles (where Bella went shopping and almost got killed by the four gross men...and Edward saved her)...we probably got about 5 miles away from the city limits, on our tour of the Olympic Peninsula.

On the ferry to Bainbridge Island that would eventually get us to the Olympic Peninsula. This was right before Olive fell off a seat in the ferry and landed on her head. Shannon got it on video and aunt Chrissy was too late to catch her from falling...stupid aunt. But there was a beautiful dark haired single man right by us who thought is was just as funny as we did. I kick myself for not kissing him.

What a gorgeous tour it was. I would love to live there, in the summer. I'm planning a nice long trip next summer to the area which will include Seattle, Olympic Peninsula, Victoria, Vancouver and Oregon Coast....google them...they are beautiful and you should join me. Unfortunately, I've become obsessed again with the vampired. I watched the movie again, also with commentary and it was hilarious. I highly recommed it to those who were upset with the film. I was/am one of those, it seemed so poorly done in countless ways BUT the actors, Bella and Edward, were so funny with the commentary and pointing out the same things that I thought were lame that I'm not as upset as I had been. I'm ready for New Moon to come out. I'm totally recommitted and I'm looking for a group who will go with me to the midnight showing, something I swore I would never do again. It's gonna be awesome no matter how dumb it is...because one day the dvd will come out with the commentary and the world will be right again.

The Girl Then and the Girl Now, Is the Same

Everybody in my family seems to be moving to new homes. It has been a bit hectic. I now have the urge to simplify and downsize my posessions. Although I would like to increase my vehicles to two. Boy am I unbalanced. ANyway, I'm in the mood to clean out closets and tonight I've accomplished destroying my loft with crap and clutter. It's everywhere. Shambles. Because, of course, I got caught up reading journals. I've always wanted to write a book. The first time I started at book was my senior year in high school. I've been reading it tonight and, although it has no point or purpose that I can find, it has been entertaining. I was not a very nice girl back in the day. At one point in my unfinished book I was attending a church meeting (to my embarassment as a full functioning adult, this occurred right after sacrament before we separated to sunday school) and when the chorister asked the congregation for hymn suggestions, I requested AC/DC's Back in Black. Ugh. I am shocked but not surprised. ANyway, I wanted to share a small portion of the book:

I have two interesting things to tell you about dying cows (then I go into a long explanation about someone you wouldn't expect to laugh like a dying cow...and I eventually get to this point...). Just today (april 1) in a class some girl started making some wheezy dead noise and it was such a terrible noise that I thought she was just doing it for fun. And all of a sudden she flung her head down on the table..hard!! And she just laid there groaning and it sounded like she sneezed so I cynically asked her if she wanted a kleenex and she burst out laughing...so I thought. She was like that for two minutes and all of a sudden she said,"will somebody get me a kleenex?" I thought I was going to die laughing, and none of us got her a kleenex so she used the piece of paper under her. When she flung her head down on the table she hit it so hard that she gave herself a bloody nose. She claimed she was choking and I say, "no way." I was just about to say, "why didn't yo hold your neck or something?" and she says, "Geeze (yelling) I was giving you guys the international sign for choking."

I vaguely remember this experience...and I do remember laughing...hard. Especially when she flung her head onto the table. Even better that it gaver her a bloody nose.

Someday I will post about the hard core rant I go on about abortion referring to the baby as "it" and pleading, "You don't kill it" and "give it a chance." It was a very strong voice for a 17 yr old with very little tact. Sounds about right.

A Few Random Thoughts That Might Relate to the Above Paragraphs, Or Not

This is my hike group that may never re-group for a hike again

This is a glacier that my hike group slid down last wednesday at 10 am. that turned a 10 hr hike into a 15 hour hiking disaster

This is Tiffany. Tiffany and I attended high school together (and Jr. High) and was part of my inspiration for my book writing. Tiff almost died on the glacier and escaped with relatively few injuries. Sadly, after she almost died and I knew she was alive and wouldn't die, I broke out into hysterical laughter, and it quite possibly sounded like a dying cow. After reading my partially written book and thinking of my reaction to Tiff's near death experience, I realize I have not matured and am still very much the same girl

However, the girl back then and the girl now has always been grateful for her long lasting and unwaivering friendship with Tiff...and hopes to never witness something like that again!

Raisin Bran Makes You Smart

Last July I bought a cieling fan for my bedroom. It was my birthday gift to myself. The room gets a bit warm at night and the air conditioner wakes me up as it clicks on and off. Naturally I thought of a ceiling fan to save me. My gift to me was opened the day I bought it, and closed back up a few minutes later. Too complicated for me. It sat in my front room for a month and then one day was taken to the loft, where I worried, it would never return.

(Unfortunately I jumped the gun before I bought the fan and took my light down, thinking that would motivate me to buy the fan and assemble it. But it's amazing what you can get used to living without. This picture shows how my cieling looked for a very long time. Side note: I have been without a microwave for 6 months...hard at first...now I don't even notice)

But a miracle happened two weeks ago (I'm posting this WAY after I wrote it...it took awhile to remember to get pics), I decided I WOULD get it done and hung. Maybe I wanted a challenge. Maybe I wanted to do something that my family told me couldn't be done without an electrician. Maybe I was ticked off and didn't want to be around people. But mostly, I just wanted to be cool at night. And I'm cheap. Why pay an electrician?! I enjoyed getting electrocuted (notice the black and white wires in the above picture, somehow they moved and were touching PERFECTLY when I turned on the power). I enjoyed destroying my circuit braker. I enjoyed paying $50 for an archaic "fuse box" (??) that if weren't a collector's item would've only cost 6 bucks. I enjoyed begging a friend who knew what he was doing to finish the project. I REALLY enjoyed that he had to disconnect the wiring he had just connected because I had done something wrong which needed correcting. I loved that I didn't have a battery for my remote so we couldn't even tell if it worked. And the best, I love that 4 days later I finally got the battery and ......it didn't work. I love dejection/rejection/a slapped face/humility/shame. It felt good. But what felt better was me eating a bowl of Total Raisin Bran and realizing "maybe my light switch on the wall wasn't on , that would keep the remote from working" and being right. IT WORKS!!!!!!!! And I can control it from the comforts of my bed and the light exercise of my digits.

(It will be another year before I get to painting that circle on the cieling. I'll send a picture when that day happens....cold day in hell or I decide to move)

Sorry, No Pictures

It's a scary and comforting thought that "Life is always changing." But one thing remains constant, every spring I get an injury that RUINS my life for weeks and sometimes months. I guess "ruins my life" is a bit dramatic but anything that forces me "down" physically causes me pain at the thought that activities will not reach full swing. This year, my body decided that since it is in it's 36th year it would like to remind me that I am not superhuman and must stretch ALOT before I engage in competitive activity, like soccer. It also reminded me of the lovely lesson that when your quadriceps hurts and is partially damaged, it is speaking to you and you should go sit on the sidelines and not chase down a ball at full speed (my full speed is unimpressive) only to completely damage the muscle. I have a silly type of pride that won't allow me to stop unless there is no other option. I had no other option, I could barely walk. The sad thing was, it was my night to score a goal. The other team had a sadly unathletic fella defending the goal, and I wanted to take advantage. The good thing is, I am Wolverine. Seriously. I thought I was in big trouble last night. THought I'd spend the next 2 months battling this injury and today I'm a million times better. Last night in my sleep I could feel my body healing and progressing. I don't need crutches. I went to Yoga. I weight lifted (upper body). And met an Antonio Banderas look a like the gym who said to me, "I have the pig flu" after his friend had just chastised him for leaving forehead grease on the bench. It's going to be a great recovery.

This Weeks THeme: Glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

Somehow this theme is popping up into every part of my life. Bring it on! It's too bad it has become so cliche.' So much of the meaning is lost when it teeters over the peak of "cliche'".

Anyway, I was wishing (hurling firey darts at reality) that my nephews and niece were local enough for me to steal away for little outings like the one I had on monday with my little buddies and pinchess (princess) Sadye. We spent an extremely fast 90 minutes at Cabella's. Yet we managed to fit in: screaming, jumping, fish feeding, kid feeding, germ sharing, sleeping bag resting, gun shooting, vandalizing, rushing to bathrooms before accidents, washing hands, cutting people off, sugar eating, piggy backing, bear watching, house (tent)playing, couch jumping, window banging, cart stunts, animal naming, nose picking, cuddling, singing---and nobody got hurt.!

Everytime we would move to a new spot I would yell, "All aboard!" and the three of them would jump on the cart (we did it so much they even had their own designated spots) and I would push them to the new location. We saved ALOT of time and energy with this transporting method. We also came close to running over Chance and decapitating Eli (as he would uncannily lean back right as we were passing a objects that could seriously damage his head)

Seriously, I think I had just as much, if not more fun than my little Rat Pack. I was truly happy and time flew. My glass was definitely half full that day.

Thank You and Happy Birthday

I have adopted every person I know as a personal secretary. Traci Monson happens to be my Executive Assistant and for the last 10 years has kept record of most of my personal engagements. She reminds me of dates, times and most importantly memorizes directions to venues and passes them on to me as I am en route.

(Pictured are myself and Traci. This is in Boston where she of course, made all travel arrangements, and paid for my ticket. What?! I didn't have a job at the time)

Since I am old-er I have trained myself to memorize information regarding soirees to a close degree of accuracy. I almost always get the date correct, arrive within plus or minus 30 minutes to start time and can recall the location within a three block radius. Therefore, I have needed Traci's help less and less as the years have passed but occasionally am saved by her incomprehensible ability to plan, organize and regurgitate data that, I swear, was stolen from my hand. I hope to one day return the gesture she has so kindly offered to me a million times.

Sometimes I am invited to a function by a social circle that has not the privilege of knowing Traci. And I, finding myself in need of logistical info, wonder if she still might know where I am supposed to be. I am in such a situation tonight. Knowing that even this Super Woman does not know the answer, I turn to other sources, like the focal point of this evening. IT happens to be her birthday, and is just as unreliable as myself.

(Pictured below is Stephanie Doyle in a fantastic attempt to snowboard)

(This is what she looks like, with a helmet on)

I have called her twice and sent a text message (5 minutes before the party is to start) and still no response. What?! Am I left to getting on-line and finding the original invitation?! Work?! THEN! The phone rings, lo and behold, the caller ID reads "Steph Doyle" and I answer with excitement,

*"Birthday Girl?! What is wrong with you? You know I need help getting to your place?"

*This is not the birthday girl, it's Aly!"

The conversation went on but I got stuck in the humorous thoughts that a) Steph is just like me and has someone else dealing with the awful boringness of flat information and b) Once again, I am saved from my annoying habit of zero preparation.

Each of you at one point has aided, or enabled, me in such a situation. I thank you.

(Among many other talents, Steph is also an artist, and felt this represented the lonliness that metals must feel)

Aaaaaahhh!!! (said with much frustration)

I'm going to DIE if I don't find something insane to do...that won't get me killed or thrown in jail.

I think it comes from repression. Everything I have an impulsive urge to do, is not accepted by society. By not acting out I have the sensation behind my eyeballs that they are going to pop out.

Here is what I would do if no consequences were involved:

I would rip up.....ooooh....lots of stuff (stimulus bill included)

I would follow Eli's lead and smack people in the face (nobody in particular)

I would quit my job. Not answer my phone. And burn Facebook.

I would be on an airplane to Phoenix

I would adopt a dog and buy half a cow

I would definitely be homeless and know which clothes I would take on my back (can anyone guess?)

I would break the news to people who think they are funny, but aren't.

Until I have the guts, I guess I will just go to the gym and to Phoenix...those are do-able.